THE UNMUTUAL PRISONER HAIKUS

"We're not quite sure what it means."
Awards Judge, "The Chimes of Big Ben."

In 2003, American Prisoner fan "NE Hooligan" set a task for other users of the alt.tv.prisoner newsgroup - a Prisoner Haiku competition! A Haiku is a Japanese form of verse, made up of 3 lines. The first line must contain exactly 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, the third line 5 syllables. The idea generated over 100 replies, and it was most amusing to see people replying to each others posts in Haiku! To view the entire thread, click HERE. Here is a selection of some of the best, plus others submitted to The Unmutual Website since then.

Pris'ner Number 6
Won't let on why he resigned
So they kidnapped him.

Ronster

McGoohan got bored
With playing Danger Man Drake
He made a new show.

Ronster

Markstein's idea for
A show about captured spies
McGoohan claimed it.

Ronster

I-I-I-I-I-
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-
Shut up and sit down!

Big Bill

1-2-3-4-5
He counts on all his fingers
SELTZMAN spells out clue.

Big Bill

Delgate's Namplates
Activists and Anarchists
Got switched around

Big Bill

 

Once Upon A Time
Was originally called
Degree Absolute

Big Bill

 


That last episode
Was so far up its own arse
Viewers got p*ssed off.

Ronster


You can't quit your job
In British Intelligence
We will abduct you!

Ronster


Had a poison pint?
You'll have to make yourself sick
Drink sev'ral shorts - quick!

Ronster


Being Number Six
Is a civil servant's dream.
John Drake sleeps on it.

Redcat


Lotus position
Always of desperate man
Bounces ball all white

IMOM


General went 'bang'
When Number 6 asked it 'why'
Was that a virus?

Ronster


Leo locked Pat up
for "one teensy weensy week"
Drank himself to death.

Ronster


Wyngarde's dressing gown
What was that about a queen?*
"helloooooooooo", suits you sir.

Frankymole



An Orange Alert!
Inescapable Rover
Captures Number Six

Steve Dix


Patrick McGoohan
Played Number Six and John Drake
They are not the same

Rick Davy


6 played by new guy
While Pat was making a film
Didn't convince me!

Ronster


Ev'ryone has gone!
The Village is deserted.
Great chance to escape.

Ronster


Come be The Queen's Pawn
In our game of Human Chess
Don't move out of turn.

Ronster


6 - or are you 12?
They have made a clone of you
You'll crack before long.

Ronster


You think you'll escape?
Come back and obliterate
Our lovely Village?

Ronster


6- you're a sheriff
Who will not carry a gun
You work for me now.

Ronster


Social Conversion!
You'll have lasting peace of mind
We'll get your secrets...

Ronster


The new man in charge
Wanted to kill the old guy
He didn't succeed.

Ronster


2 bullied a girl
Into taking her own life
6 avenged her death.

Ronster


6 defeated 2
In the Village election
They still battered him.

Ronster


Six! Still Time! Still Time!
Die, Six, Die! Five! Die Six Die!
Four, three, two, one! Stop.

Steve Dix


Six escaped at last
By machine-gunning the guards
All you need is love

Vincent Van Moppes


Yellow Documents
contain quotes out of context
and much more fiction!

David MacKenzie


Get the latest news
On alt-tv-prisoner
Not at Six of One

Vincent Van Moppes


"There has to be a
certain amount of fighting
against the system"

Roger


A peaceful village,
by Sir Clough Williams-Ellis
called Portmeirion.

David MacKenzie


Flavour of the Day
Is strawbr'y; but first showers.
The band is so loud!

Redcat


Village cats are black.
One's asleep on Six's bed.
Where do they come from?

Redcat


'"Where does it come from?
How does it get here? The milk?
The ice cream?" he asked.'

Frankymole






Can we plan a Con
where everyone speaks Haiku
or Welsh? Your own choice.

Redcat


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